The Final Trip: Orphan Black 5.06: “Manacled Slim Wrists”

Six down, four to go.

I have to admit, while I’m generally a fan of shorter television seasons, I’m starting to feel like we just don’t have enough time to get everything in that we need. Don’t get me wrong: Orphan Black has always played fast with its plot, and each season moves at a breakneck pace. This season is no different, and yet, it is. Maybe I’m more conscious of the speed at which the story is unfolding since I know it’s the final season. No sooner is something introduced than it gets resolved. Or we hear about what other characters are doing, and my brain starts jumping up and down going, Can we see that too, please? and then when realizing how many episodes we have left, my brain simmers down and mutters, Maybe that’ll be the next comic mini-series.

Whatever the case, I’m starting to wish the final season of Orphan Black had 13 episodes, but maybe I’ll change my mind once it’s over. Right now, there’s just so much I wish I was seeing, and yet we barely get an hour per episode, and there’s so much to cram in there! It’s maddening!

So let’s talk about the sixth episode of The Final Trip, “Manacled Slim Wrists.” As always, spoilers for the entire series through this episode are below the poster.

Welcome back, Krystal! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!

• Her vlog was hysterical, and so like beauty blogs I’ve seen before, minus the anti-big cosmetics message. I was wondering how many of her vlog viewers might actually recognize her, considering she’s, you know, a clone, and there’s bound to be SOMEONE watching her tips (maybe one of Alison’s suburban frenemies?) who thinks she looks a little TOO familiar. Then again, considering her roommate saw Sarah on laptop and didn’t bat an eyelash, I think it’s safe to say Krystal looks sufficiently different enough from the clones that if you aren’t LOOKING for similarities, you won’t find them.

• Krystal’s can-do attitude is wonderful. I love how she snuck out of Scott’s lab and how she forced Art and Sarah to do the mission on HER terms. Yes, she comes off as every inch the ditzy blonde, but as Felix once said, she’s smart in her own way. She got her own surveillance equipment, and despite just asking Len Sipp why he sold his company to Dyad, and despite getting a little distracted by how hot he is and how much he turns her on, even she figures out Len Sipp is more interested in her body than her vlog, and that crushes her. She wants to kick him in the balls.

Krystal sticks to her word. #OrphanBlack pic.twitter.com/sad7Ur4Cjw

— Orphan Black (@OrphanBlack) July 16, 2017

• And kick him in the balls she does! Her take-down of Len Sipp (played by Tatiana’s real life boyfriend Tom Cullen) was freaking awesome, and her interrogation technique made both Sarah Manning and Art wince. Seriously, I could watch this gif of Krystal kicking ass all day (I just wish it was longer). Those self-defense lessons from last season are really paying off.

Is it just me or does this look like Tom Cullen??? @OrphanBlack explain…. pic.twitter.com/6W5nlKYkrn

— Dont. 🏳️‍🌈 (@NahMate420) June 23, 2017

• She thought Sarah was rude and “Australian.” Oh, Krystal. Don’t ever change.

• But the episode wasn’t just about fun with Krystal, though she did learn something important about using a new facial cream as a delivery system for something more sinister (want to learn more? Read The Mary Sue’s science recap!); Sarah and company were able to tie Krystal’s information to files faxed over by Delphine, Felix, and Adele, and that’s the story I was wishing we’d gotten to see earlier. There’s a very good chance this may be a spin-off comic, because unless everyone meets up in Geneva, I doubt they’re going to devote an episode to them unless they’re in danger or one of the clones goes their way (send Krystal!). Which is a shame, because it would be good to see them working intercut with everything else that’s going on, just because Felix is such an important part to the show, and he’s been missing now for what, two episodes? That makes me sad.
• At least we definitively confirmed that P.T. Westmorland is a hoax. His real name is John, and he’s the same age as Susan and Virginia thereabouts. I wish I’d been able to record all of his lines at the beginning, because they were biting, starting with, “It was 1972, but you were a woman,” to Susan. Damn dude, you really don’t like women, do you?
• I feel bad for Susan; I understand her trying to get Westmorland out of the way, though I’m not sure how that was supposed to help the Leda clones. I guess killing Westmorland would free her to dispose of Virginia Coady, but I was a little vague on all of those plans. At least the reveal of who he really was allowed Cosima to escape the angry villagers, who’d gotten more and more disillusioned with each death on the island. I was just surprised they didn’t take those flaming torches and start marching to the castle, so to speak, but at least Cosima and Charlotte escaped.

• Susan and Ira, not so much. Westmorland and Virginia killed Susan the same way she planned to kill him (thanks to Mud’s last minute betrayal, something she seemed to regret when she saw the photographic evidence of Westmorland’s real age lying forgotten on the ground outside of the burning village). And Ira…poor Ira. He was definitely glitching, and after promises from Virginia that she was close to a cure and promises from Susan that his best chance at a cure was Cosima, it appears Ira has expired right alongside Susan, bleeding out from the nose. It was a touching moment, but it moved fast. And here too is where I wish we’d had a bit more time. I couldn’t have cared less about this maneuvering between Susan, Virginia, and Westmorland; I actually wouldn’t have minded so much if they’d gotten off the island. But I would’ve liked to see Ira hold out a little longer, dangle the hope for a cure in front of us, you know?

• But the show isn’t about Ira or Castor (that’d make another great spin-off comic, though, wouldn’t it?). It’s about the Clone Club, and it’s about Kira, and it’s about their creators using the clones for their own ends. When Rachel comes to collect Kira (we know it’s to start hormone treatment, words that filled me with horror because she’s a LITTLE GIRL), Mrs. S tells Rachel, “There will come a day when you need us.”

• And won’t that be true? Once Rachel knows that Westmorland is nothing but a myth, and that he killed Susan? Something tells me there’s going to be hell to pay. It doesn’t matter that Rachel tried to kill Susan herself; what matters is that Rachel didn’t get to finish the job. Or perhaps what will matter is that man that saved her is a fraud and killed Susan for his own ends, thereby robbing Rachel of killing Susan for her own reasons. Whatever happens, I have a feeling that when Rachel learns the truth about Westmorland, she won’t be able to fight him alone, and whether or not her clone sisters will help will be solely dependent on what she does to Kira in the interim.
• Speaking of Susan Duncan and the now fake P.T. Westmorland: that poem they were quoting? “Lines Written in Early Spring” by William Wordsworth.
• I find it interesting that Mrs. S is still protecting her source. It’s gotta be someone big. While I don’t see how he could POSSIBLY be connected to Neolution, I can’t imagine the payoff being anyone other than Kira’s father, Cal Morrison. Who else would be so motivated? And why else would Mrs. S keep that particular source a secret from Sarah? The only other option would be whomever the sperm donor was for the Leda project, but honestly, does anyone really care who that was? We wanted to know who the original was, and we got that, but the father of the Leda clones? No, I don’t think anyone’s wanting to know who that was. Hell, at this point I wouldn’t be shocked if it was Westmorland himself, and even if it wasn’t, do the viewers really want to meet anyone new this late in the season or the series? I sure don’t.
• Wait, there’s another option. It could be Paul. I don’t know how he survived if it is, but that’s an option: it’d be a huge reveal; it would rattle the hell out of Sarah, which would be why Mrs. S would keep it a secret. Hmmm.
• Or hell, it could be another Castor Clone. Possibly Mark. Or if Mark has glitched, what about Gracie?
• Just don’t be Ferdinand. It’s probably Ferdinand. Dammit.
• No, really, who knows? They’ve dangled this particular secret for three episodes now, so it better be worth the reveal.

That’s it for this week! Tomorrow’s episode 5.07 “Gag or Throttle,” appears to be giving me my Rachel-centric episode! What will happen when she learns Westmorland is a hoax? Will she continue to experiment on Kira, or will she finally develop a conscience? And who is visiting Helena in the convent? And according to the previews, Alison is BACK. How will she be different, and what role will she play in the final episodes? AND WHEN WILL FELIX RETURN?

Episode 5.07, “Gag or Throttle,” airs Saturday, July 22, 2017 at 10:00 pm EST, so don’t miss out! Watch, and then rewatch all week on your favorite platform so you can join me next Friday to discuss!

All images courtesy of BBC America, Twitter, and screencapped.net.