The Twilight Zone, “Night of the Meek”
Ah, the holidays! Time for the requisite Christmas episode — a staple of almost every television show produced in the United States. Most of these episodes are written as a variation of one of the holiday classics: A Christmas Carol, It’s a Wonderful Life, or How the Grinch Stole Christmas. And oh, my yes, this list of episodes is very long, indeed, even in the SFF/F/H genres: The Six Million Dollar Man (“A Bionic Christmas Carol”), Xena: Warrior Princess (“A Solstice Carol”) right up to Legends of Tomorrow (“Beebo, The God of War”). I’m not even counting the many Christmas episodes in Dr. Who.
Here are a few of my personal favorites:
Sorry, Corwin. Straight-laced Sister Florence isn’t having any of it.
The Twilight Zone, “Night of the Meek” (2.11), Netflix. This twenty-minute story is one of the most heartwarming in the classic think piece anthology series. Henry Corwin (Art Carney) gets fired after he arrives falling-down-drunk and very late to his department store Santa gig. The apologetic Corwin is depressed precisely because he really isn’t Santa and has no way to help his down-and-out neighborhood. “I can either drink, or weep.” In a back alley, he trips over a magic bag filled with gifts. Delighted, Corwin starts handing out presents, which take the form of exactly what the person wanted. The manager of a men’s mission suspects he stole the presents from the department store, and summons the police. There follows a delightful sight gag where the gleefully vindictive store manager, Dundee, believing he is pulling thousands of dollars of merchandise out of Corwin’s bag, actually produces…a bunch of empty cans. Dundee challenges Corwin to pull a vintage brandy out of the bag, and Corwin cheerfully complies. The police chief lets him off the hook, gets drunk on brandy with Dundee, and Corwin continues to hand out gifts until the bag is empty. This episode doesn’t solve the world’s problems, by any means, but offers a deeper look into people that often get written off. Corwin doesn’t start out as a likeable character, and that’s the trick: the more I learn about him, the more he becomes someone I empathize with and cheer for at the end of the story when he is rewarded (synonymous with redeemed) because of his good heart. (Fun fact: Art Carney later starred in the Star Wars Holiday Special — but don’t hold that against him; he would also go on to protect Drew Barrymore’s Firestarter from nefarious government agents.)
Officers Audrey Parker and Nathan Wuornos (Lucas Bryant) shake clues out of some snow globes.
Haven, “Silent Night” (2.13), Netflix. FBI agent turned small town cop Audrey Parker is unsettled, more so than usual, when the residents of Haven, Maine, each of whom are imbued with genetic supernatural talents (called “Troubles,”) decorate for Christmas — in the middle of July. Every time Audrey starts hearing the music box tune “Silent Night,” someone disappears — and so do memories of their existence. As Haven’s population shrinks at an alarming rate, Audrey tracks this particular Trouble to a Derry resident — a toymaker whose daughter is using her own supernatural abilities to wish residents into her own fantasy world. The episode is a refreshing break from Christmas Carol-inspired tales by acknowledging that the holidays can be difficult for a lot of people. “I know that the real world isn’t always everything that you thought it would be,” Audrey tells the daughter, “but sometimes it can surprise us, in certain ways. You just gotta be open to it.” The episode ends with Audrey, no fan of the holidays herself, throwing a Christmas party, in, yes, July.
Going caroling? Skip Maurice & Lyda’s house.
The X-Files, “How The Ghosts Stole Christmas” (6.06), DVD. If you haven’t seen all of the X-Files, don’t worry — this is an excellent standalone episode. Plus, there are so many reasons to recommend it. Exhibit A: Haunted house. Exhibit B. Haunted house on Christmas Eve. Exhibit C: The haunted house is a puzzle house (think 13 Ghosts, only…lighter in tone). And most importantly, Exhibit D: the ghosts Lyda and Maurice are played by famed actors Lily Tomlin and Ed Asner. The story was written specifically for Lily Tomlin, who really really wanted to be in an X-Files episode. In case we’re not acquainted with the basics, FBI Agent Fox Mulder is a total believer in the paranormal cases he investigates with his more skeptical partner, FBI Agent Dana Scully. Scully is more than prepared for a normal holiday complete with gift-wrapping and family time, but Mulder sucks her in to a stakeout at a haunted house — the scene of a couple’s murder-suicide pact. No one who goes in comes out alive, but Scully and Mulder must survive otherworldly hallucinations wherein Maurice and Lyda turn the agents against each other, leading to Scully and Mulder doing the unthinkable: shooting each other. Thankfully they outsmart Maurice and Lyda, who ruefully exclaims, “We almost had those two, didn’t we?” If you liked Peter Jackson’s holiday horror movie The Frighteners (which debuted a couple of years beforehand), and you like comedy, you’ll like this episode.
Who couldn’t trust a face like this?
Amazing Stories, “Santa 85” (1.11), iTunes. A slightly cheesy tale about holiday cheer direct from Steven Spielberg (who is, after all, the guy who had to glop an optimistic ending on Stanley Kubrick’s A.I.), this episode stars Douglas Seale (the Sultan’s voice in 1992’s Aladdin) as a jolly Santa. Seale inhabits the role perfectly, and he’s the reason I love this story. While delivering presents on Christmas Eve, Santa trips a burglar alarm — and finds himself cooling his heels in jail with a few other thieving Santas.
Just look at that gorgeous, state-of-the-art alarm system.
When the officers ask him how many houses he hit tonight, Santa replies, “Forty million,” and laments the trouble he has keeping up with delivering presents with an ever-growing world population. Meanwhile, Bobby (Gabriel Damon), the kid living in the house where Santa got caught, tries to convince his parents that they just arrested Santa Claus “like some kind of terrorist.” Bobby waits until his parents are asleep, then decks himself out in camo and commandeers Santa’s reindeer and sleigh for a good old-fashioned jail break — helping Santa fly off in full view of a disbelieving, Scrooge-like police chief (Pat Hingle, aka Commissioner Gordon in 1989’s Batman). It might be cheesy, but it’s also magical and fun.
There are so many Christmas episodes to choose from, there’s something for virtually everyone. I say “virtually” because aside from The O.C. and The Goldbergs, which are not SFF-related shows, no one celebrates a different kind of holiday (aside from Felicity Smoak and a smattering of characters). Science fiction or fantasy characters may celebrate a stand-in holiday for Christmas, but I haven’t seen anyone celebrate anything like Hanukkah or Kwanzaa.
Have a favorite holiday episode (especially one that isn’t Christmas)? I’m interested. We librarian folks can’t help categorizing things — or gathering information to answer future questions.
Happy Holidays, y’all.
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