For my 2018 Resolution Project, I decided to take a page out of Lane’s book and do my own Silver Screen Resolution (hence the Take Two part of the title). There are a lot of movies out there I haven’t seen but feel like I should have, or movies that I’ve simply wanted to see and have yet to get around to it. With a deadline of some kind, now I’ll have to finally make a point to find them, get them, and watch them. My rules for the resolution are slightly different in that:
- They must be spec-fic (this has not changed).
- The movie will not be one that is in theaters or that would be part of a Sound Off!
- They don’t have to be popular – or even something folks have heard about.
But I’ve decided to take my resolution to the next level as well, since I had more than 12 movies on my list that I wanted to see. And since we’re in “Take Two” mode, I might as well up the ante: I will instead be seeing two spec fic movies per month rather than just one. As we inch closer to Halloween and some scarier movies, let’s start things off this month with some good ol’ fashioned blood-sucking vampires. And because I like style, why not have David Bowie be one of those vampires in The Hunger.
Beware: all the spoilers.
Okay. I had no idea that David Bowie would be in this movie for a grand total of maybe 15 minutes. You can’t bill me David Bowie and then do that. IT’S RUDE. Likewise, I had no idea Susan Sarandon was even in this film, much less that she had short hair, would be topless, and show up in a lesbian sexy-time scene or two. This movie is just full of surprises! To be fair, I’d never even looked up the synopsis for this movie, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. But even if I had, IMDB has this in its quick one-liner: “A love triangle develops between a beautiful yet dangerous vampire, her cellist companion, and a gerontologist.”
That’s not what happens at all.
What really happens is this: John Blaylock (Bowie) is a vampire who was turned by his lover Miriam Blaylock (Catherine Deneuve). However, after centuries of long life and youth, John is now rapidly aging while Miriam stays young. They both discover Sarah Roberts (Sarandon) who is studying the aging process in the hopes of being able to control the human “internal clock” in order to save the lives of those with a type of degenerative disease. John visits her in the hopes of getting help but doesn’t get any at all. And when Miriam meets Sarah, she decides Sarah can be her next companion, though things don’t go too smoothly this time.
First, let’s talk about plot. Because I didn’t know the story’s general plotline, I kept making guesses as to what was going to happen. Miriam and John go out and eat people and John becomes smitten with Sarah at some point? Nope. John goes to see Sarah and she discovers what he and Miriam are and seeks to further her research with Miriam’s blood? Nope. Sarah discovers what they are and is able to heal John? Nope. Eventually I got to the point of, “What the hell is this movie about?” Because John ages so quickly and Miriam refuses to kill him — though she never says why, just that she can’t — he’s essentially trapped in a decrepit body. Miriam then pops him into a box and slides him in next to all her other former lovers, like so many dusty old VHS tapes. At that point I had no idea why he’d even been in the film since Miriam makes no attempt to help him.
A split-second glimpse into John and Miriam’s past.
Her next move is to seduce Sarah and immediately transform her into a vampire rather than give Sarah even the tiniest of chances to fall for her in return. In flashbacks we’re given a glimpse into John and Miriam’s lives before John was a vampire and he looked absolutely smitten with Miriam. Likewise, Miriam is genuinely sad when John grows old, and even lovingly touches some of the other caskets he ends up next to. So I was under the impression that, even though she’s a murdering, blood-sucking vampire, she does indeed love those she has turned. Why Miriam chose Sarah no one will ever know. Because Sarah was pretty, maybe? Miriam had only met Sarah twice before deciding to turn her. She doesn’t even know if Sarah is into women, but hey, I guess when you’re a seductive vampire with what appeared to be a bit of mental influence, you can make anyone into a lesbian if you want. Or, I guess in Sarah’s case, bisexual since Sarah was dating a male work colleague. But hey, lesbian scenes in 80s movies are hot, so why not I guess. Especially when it’s filmed in an “artsy” manner with flowy translucent curtains and — well, I’ll get to that next.
One lesbian scene with fancy flowing drapes coming up next!
The end is confusing because Sarah clearly rejects Miriam’s offer by stabbing herself in the throat while kissing Miriam. There’s a lot of blood. And then, inexplicably and with a lot of doves flapping around (is this a John Woo film?), all of Miriam’s former lovers emerge from their caskets and creep up on her. She freaks out and then falls down about 3 flights of stairs, continues freaking out, grows old (I’m so confused) in a scene that takes way longer than it should, and then we next see Sarah in a nice apartment with what appear to be two lovers (male and female), and with a box somewhere with what sounds like Miriam calling Sarah’s name as she bangs on the wood.
Miriam growing old…but she’s not dead? I don’t know anymore…
I. DO NOT. UNDERSTAND.
Everything about this movie was pointless. The plot could easily have been far, far more interesting than whatever the hell it turned into. There’s no explanation for anything. I assumed Miriam is some kind of original vampire, which is why her human lovers could never keep up in the end. But why Sarah (I assume?) took her place confuses me. Especially when Miriam is still alive. And why did all the corpse-lovers get out to (sort of?) confront Miriam? There are so many questions and none of them add up and I am just disappointed in everything. Including the editing. Let’s talk about that for a moment while we’re on this train, shall we?
If you hate jump cuts or may have seizures due to flashing lights, you may want to avoid this movie because it’s “stylish.” The editing drove me absolutely insane because it was abrupt and the scenes it cut from back and forth were occasionally almost split-second. In some cases I get what the director (again, I assume) was trying to do, but it’s done too much. It gets to the point where the viewer thinks, “Okay, I get it, STOP.” There are also a lot of unnecessary doves with constant wing-flapping noises, a lot of flowing curtains (why are all your giant bay windows open all the time?), unnecessary closeups on “meaningful” things like drops of blood, and so much more. For all the annoying jump cuts, the movie is very slow; hence, why it took so long for me to figure out what the plot even might be.
Sarah in her new world — but after we’ve panned past her nice flowing drapes. Maybe it’s a vampire thing?
The movie is based on a book of the same name by Whitley Strieber. Is the book better? I feel like I can say with some certainty that yes, it most likely is. The plot is different and probably would have made for a much more interesting film than what I watched. In fact, most of the plots I thought the movie might be were far more interesting than what I watched. The only one, really good thing I can say for this movie is that whoever did the makeup for John as he continuously aged did a fantastic job. Realistic old person makeup is hard to achieve, but in this movie it was excellent.
Here’s hoping Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton are more entertaining as vampires in my next resolution movie…
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